By Kevin Dukelow

Rick Santorum, who has prioritized his anti-pornography stance in his campaign, may be a hypocrite. A report that Rick Santorum’s friend has found boxes of porn magazines and DVD’s underneath his bathroom sink is sparking questions about Santorum’s honesty and faith. Santorum does not deny having the collection and says that they “caught him red handed,” but the he “is special,” and can, “do what he wants when he speaks out against porn.” He also says that he did not pull a “Jason Russell,” and that he was watching it for research to “learn more about Satan’s plans,” so he he prepare, “to oppose Satan.”

Voters are starting to reject Santorum’s supposed self-ordained privileges. Santorum, who has a sick child, pays nearly a million dollars a year for her health care, opposes universal health care which would help those who cannot afford healthcare get well without going bankrupt.

“People have to pay their own premiums. I mean, Jesus said ‘hand me your poor, your weak, your huddled masses and I will deny them healthcare when they are ill.’” When asked if patients would be forced to wear “euthanize me,” bands around their wrists, Santorum said, “Of course not. I’m not going to make sure than nobody knows about who dies from high health care premiums. It is important that Catholic Jesus keeps this between the Lord and the victim, I mean, hospital patient.”

BREAKING The porn found at Santorum’s residence was supplied by Marcus Bachmann and is allegedly gay porn. Santorum has explained that he did not know where the porn came from, and described Marcus Bachmann as a “two-timing bitch.”